Tearoom Aisu’s waiter profiles 2023

LEX-1 (Just call me Lexi!)

Age: 2mo ja 3d.
Hight: Just right according to the factory protocol.
Blood type: O.2+.
I am: A model AI-SU.23 (Artificial Intelligence – Service Unit nmr. 23).  An android server (and a story collector!) made especially to cafe Aisu. They that for an android I’m quite hardheaded and tend to daydream. But I promise I’ll still bring your order every time! (As long as I get an idea for a story from you~).
If I could pick a timeline where would I go: Just one?? Oh my circuits are getting overloaded from just trying to decide!
My favourite joke? Two computers went to a webcafe, when suddenly the lights went out. The other computer asked the other.

  • So, is this the dark web?

01010111 01100101 01101100 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 <3

Aelene

Age: I am relatively young, I was born in the Age of Enlightenment
Height: About 19 big potatoes. 
Blood type: Constantly changing
I am: A talkative apprentice of an alchemist. Accused of being a witch. Half elf by blood. 

Even though on my last adventure I managed to transform myself into a rabbit, my great efforts showed to my master that I am capable of going on a bigger adventure to find the Philosopher’s stone. So I traveled to the Middle Ages to find some answers there. After some pre-studying I managed to get along pretty well with the medieval folks.

Although I was capable of hiding my alchemistic skill, the main problem was my modern ideas and knowledge about the world (like the Earth orbiting the Sun). So I was accused of being a witch and they wanted to burn me. I had to stop my trip and escape to this cafe. I am a bit worried about the medieval folks there, their bestseller novel was Malleus Maleficarum. Hopefully I didn’t start any kind of witch hunting trend…

If I could pick a timeline where would I go: I like the hats and veils from the Middle Ages. But I like our cafe’s 19th century atmosphere. Maybe I’ll find some answers here, from all of these representatives of different times!

Music to play between first and second sleep: Bardcore and ironically Gimmel’s song “Roviolla” (= “at the stake”)

Every trade comes with a price. But in Teahouse Aisu you don’t trade your life with roasting flames, but money with delicious goods!

Jerry

Height: 170cm
Sun sign: Leo
Bloodtype: Only vampires and other plasma collectors are interested in this kind of information…
I am: Butler, whose ship FRU1T PUNCH was destroyed and home planet Dansostar is now occupied by maids. I’m here from a dystopic (or utopic, depending who you ask) future where maids took over and forced us butlers to go extinct. I decided to survive. I’m here trying to warn about the future where butlers don’t exist anymore. But worry not, even when wearing the maid dress I’m still a butler on the inside! Even the fluffiest puff can’t take that away!!
Timeline I’d like to go: 1984, when Dingo’s golden era was just starting.
Best weapon for time travelling: Baseball bat. It works without battery and wi-fi.

I am NOT a maid (`Δ´)!

Katano

Age: 22
Height: 1 Jo
Blood type: I bleed red
I am: A young samurai from under the rule of Daimyō Nobunaga. Not by choice, but by following my fathers footsteps, as was customary where I’m from, even though I couldn’t care less about violence. Through some timeline altering shenanigans I’ve found myself in this place. And even though the culture shocks were real, I’m just happy to be away from all the fighting, and to be finally doing what I want to.
Timeline I’do go to: I’ve really found myself here, and even though I suffer from being homesick from time to time, I wouldn’t want to go back. Though if I’m going to have to leave some day, I would like to go and see my beloved home country in the Meiji era. See the peace and the country open up to a brave new world!

You know, this coffee…thing has really caught my interest and become a sort of an obsession for me. We didn’t have anything like this back home! It tastes so different and allows for drinks that wouldn’t be possible with anything else. (Even though I still like my tea more… And will brew some whenever I get a chance!) That’s way I’ve really welcomed this café as my home. I really get to do what I want, and get paid doing so! This is the best!

…And even though I’ve decided to leave behind the world of violence, if anyone ever dares to disrupt the peace of our Aisu, they will get swiftly removed from this place (or this timeline…)

“Irasshaimase! Shall I bring you coffee or brew some tea?”

Sin

Age: Consciousness long since uploaded to the cloud, stopped counting at 100
Length: Depends on the frame being used, current model 173cm 
Blood type: Electricity 🙂
I am: An information broker from cyber city with a pendant for being as accurate as an 8-ball
If I could choose my timeline: Dystopian future with a hint of cyberpunk, preferably with a lot of nice databases to hack

Welcome to Teahouse Aisu! Whether it is coffee, cakes or stories about the hottest memes in the cyberweb, we are sure to have what you need.

Lei ☆

Height: small-sized
Bloodtype: Z+
I am: a happy-go-lucky alien-maid! I may look like a normal girl but believe it or not, I’m from the future and from a completely different planet!! My homeplanet is called Zolar, and it inhabits cute creatures, like octopus-cats and flying turtles🐢🐢🐢
I don’t know what happened-?!! I was having a normal workday at the space-maid cafe, when suddenly I found myself here in this strage-looking place!!!? Is this because my magic spell for the food was too strong…?(⁠;⁠;⁠;⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠)

If I could choose a timeline I’d go to.. I’d choose all of them!! Is that allowed?

My favorite things to do: Dancing! Stargazing!! Fangirling over space-idols!!!(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)

plz give me a 5-star rating ★★★★★ ~!!

Maron

Age: 23 years old, 200 years ago
Height: hundred and sixty tw– wait a second, why are you asking? To shoot me better?! Σ⁠(⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)
Blood Type: If you continue with these questions, the only blood you need to think about is YOURS…
I am: Joyful and caring maidservant who loves the café’s folk and the people visiting it! I’m a very warm person (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) until someone in the café is threatened (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠) My personality changes faster than I draw my weapon – and I’m the fastest of them all.  So stay on my good side (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)
If I could choose the time period I lived in: I would be where the café folk I love so much is! In the 1800’s my job as the protector of the café was important due to robbers, and it seems like in the year of our lord 2023 there are different kinds of threats… oh well, I won’t let anything hurt the café folk or the guests! 

You will get lots of good spirits and tasty treats ~ or bullets, your choice!(*˘˘*).*

Moonie

Age: Timeless
Height: My build is over 1,5 meters tall
Blood type: Machine oil, but only when needed!
I am: A mechanical doll that has been built with love and care to be of service. My joints move, and I have a voice box inside me that allows me to serve you with my own voice. Many have come to me in wonder of how someone has managed to construct something like me, but all I know is that I am happiest when I get to serve the purpose I was built for. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)
If I could choose the time period I’m in, I would choose exactly this one, because I am right where I need to be right now, serving you. (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
What to do, if I suddenly stop working: I’ve been built to work mechanically, and my inner machinery can be turned on by turning the winding key on my back. So in case my inner machinations run out of power, just wind the key, and I am once again ready to serve you! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

Dolls are like small dead people, but let’s not let that bother us, shall we? (´`) I look forward to meeting you at the café!

Rim

Age:  -ˋˏ  ˎˊ-
Height: 178CW
Blood Type: ║▌▌│║▌║
I am: in a timeline that resembles distantly mine. People and places here are at the same time so familiar and yet unknown. There’s a feeling of a possible time paradox, but I assure You I will do my best so nothing irreversible won’t come to pass.

I don’t know how much I dare to share about myself without throwing off the delicate balance of the differing timelines. Yet I am pretty sure I am not the only *me* in this Teahouse…

If I could choose the time period I lived in I think I would regret it. It is so much more interesting to let fate roll the dice for you even if it would mean side effects like paranoia.

Favorite thing to do: Whatever the situation is – I would still love to have a cup of tea! ˙ᵕ˙

That’s the thing about time travel: you’re always moving forward, even when you go back.

Rin

Age: -ˋˏ  ˎˊ-
Height: ~5,6 A4 paper
Blood Type: ║▌│▌│║▌│
I am: An intelligent researcher, although due to a bit of a time paradox, I don’t always feel like that… I don’t even know how I ended up here, let alone how I can get back to my own timeline.

Everything here is new, or at least kind of is. At the same time, there are a lot of unknown things going around and at the same time they remind me of my own timeline. 

In any case, everything here is super interesting and I can’t wait to learn tons of new information here! (Hopefully it won’t cause problems in any timelines…)

If I could choose the time period I lived in it would be the age of discovery! Then I could have a adventure and learn new things.

Favorite thing to do: I’m totally into playing DnD in my own timeline. Of course I’m not sure if it’s developed everywhere, but if you find the adventures interesting, I’m happy to talk about them

Best thing is when adventure and learning happen at the same time!

\(^0^)ノ

Tossu

Age: 27, at least before the time warp
Height: 5’9
Blood Type: O
I am: A young career changer, who used to work as a mechanist before the time warp. I wasn’t particularly good at it – I actually had to change the scenery every now and then due to angry customers. I hope no one here knows about my past and asks me to fix the time machine. Who knows where we would find ourselves after that..
If I could choose the time period I lived in: Today is a gift. That is why we call it the present. No one here knows about my past and demands me to be beheaded nor do I have to wake up before the sunrise to an awakener knocking on my window.

I am all thumbs, but I promise to try my hardest. Sometimes it’s just not enough. I hope you understand if I get sugar and salt mixed and accidentally forget the milk from your Caffé Latte. (ノ≧ڡ≦) Teehee~!

Please don’t tell on me, when I say I lied in my job resume about having 30 years of experience in this field!

Maribel

Age: Wait, what year is it?
Height: 169 cm
Blood type: Mostly sugar
I am: A maid who loves sweets! I can’t wait to WHAT WAS THAT??? An alien? They didn’t say anything about time travel or aliens at the interview! Well anyway, I hope to see you at the café… or whatever this place is.
If I could pick a time period to go to, it would certainly be far from the 2020s. I’ve heard nothing but bad things about that decade.
Favorite food: Strawberry shortcake. Normal foods. Not some weird space stuff or fuels.

No matter the time or location, make yourself at home and let me know if there’s anything I can do for you!

Sophie

Age: -classified-
Height: 5 ft 5 in 
Blood type: -classified-
I am: Steampunk Medic from another place and time. I´ve been working as a medic for a long time now and trained others in saving lives. I´m might look serius, but I´m very friendly. Last memory I have from my old life at home was a loud explosion. After that my first memory is waking up in a Maid time machine. Luckily I always have my medic bag with me, so I was able to patch myself up quickly.
If I could choose a time period to travel to and live in, it would be a time where there would be peace on earth.
My favourite thing in the world is the dinnertimes spent with my family and spotting steam trains in the countryside on a hot summer day, before everything changed…

Leave no-one behind

W

Age: ~26 (Cyberware and time warps have shuffled the deck)
Height: 6′ 6″
Blood type: A+
I am: A Bodyguard/Hitman depending on the day… The Universe I used to dwell in was harsh and cruel, and I didn’t have a lot of options. I decided to live the dangerous life, like many other fellow dwellers. Streets, nightclubs, slums, crime, corruption, one wrong move could be your last. Nowadays I also work as a servant, but at the same time I guard the staff from dangers unknown.
If I could choose the era… Choose? I haven’t had the chance for that in a long time… Probably one where guns could finally be laid to rest forever…
Gear/cyberware: I caught this unique handgun from one of the many time warps we’ve had. It used to have this feature of calculating one’s “crime coefficient”. The weapon completely locked out after we departed, but luckily one nameless mechanic was able to hack it back to functional state. I haven’t played around too much with cyberware, but I’ve attained a few accuracy enhancements.

Freeze! Or don’t… But you might want to…